Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
I wonder if Mother's Day will truly feel celebratory this side of heaven.
I wonder if that sick feeling in my stomach will ever go away when someone asks me if Kaylee is my oldest.
I wonder what life would be like if Kaylee really was my oldest.
I wonder how I'm going to appropriately share with Kaylee about her big brother.
I wonder what it will be like when our family is finally together and complete.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
At the time, David is grieving the loss of his best friend, Jonathan, one day, when he is prompted by the Lord to seek out any of Jonathan’s living relatives with the intent to bless them.
David asks one of his servants and learns that, yes, Jonathan has one relative who is still living. It's one of Jonathan's sons, and his name is Mephibosheth.
Mephibosheth was crippled after being dropped as a young child. His name means “despised one” or "shame." And, after the death of his father, Jonathan, Mephibosheth is living in a place called Lo Debar. Lo Debar was the most disgusting of slums. The name “Lo Debar” literally means “no pasture.” It was a filthy, barren, and impoverished.
When I was in Haiti last year, I remember driving several times past an area called Cite Soleil, meaning "city of the sun." Sounds kind of tropical...it was anything but. This city is built on top of the dump...literally tons of garbage piled up with shacks built on top. The poorest of the poor live there. There is no running water, no sewer system, crime is rampant, and the people who live there can't even afford the most basic necessities of life. It is Haiti's most notorious slum.
This is what I picture when I think about Lo Debar.
And here, in Lo Debar, with the rejected of society, Mephibosheth resides – with nothing to his name, no family, unable to even care for himself.
David sends for Mephibosheth and when this crippled man stands before the king, he says, “What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?”
David goes on to tell Mephibosheth that he will be given all the land that belonged to Saul’s family. Not only that, but David gives him workers to farm the land.
And then David tells Mephibosheth that he will have a place at the kings table to feast every day for the rest of his life, just like a son of the king.
From Lo Debar to the king’s palace.
How much greater is the mercy we have received from the Father! From our Lo Debar – utter need and depravity, spiritual blindness and eternity separated from God - to living in freedom and feasting at the table of the King.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
The first gift was given to me by an awesome girl named Sarah. Her sweet baby boy, Holden, was stillborn last August. In his honor, Sarah and her husband started a foundation called Holden Uganda with the goal of funding nine wells in areas of Uganda without access to clean water. They started with a goal of nine wells because they enjoyed nine wonderful months of life with Holden while Sarah carried him. Sarah shared with me a couple of weeks ago that she had been touched by our testimony of Zachary’s life and death, and then she asked if she could name well #9 in honor of our son. I read and re-read her email several times. I was just so humbled that Zachary’s impact would extend beyond his life with us here to help those in need in an entirely different part of the world! Thank you, Sarah, for choosing to allow the Lord to use Holden’s life to display His glory. And, thank you for honoring our son’s short life in such an amazing way.
Just a few days after that, I received a package in the mail from another dear friend whose daughter, Emily, was stillborn just a couple of months after Zachary died. Tristen, Emily's mom, had submitted Zachary’s name to an organization called “To Write Their Names In The Sand” (namesinthesand.blogspot.com). It was started by a couple whose child was stillborn in 2008. As names of children who have died are submitted, this couple writes their names in the sand on the beach and takes a picture at sunset. The pictures are incredible! And, Zachary’s name "just happened" to be written in the sand and captured in a beautiful photo on November 27th, the same day that Kaylee was born. I couldn’t believe it when I saw the date that the picture was taken!
Also included in the package from Tristen was an adorable pink and white outfit. She explained to me in her card that the outfit was the only thing she had purchased for Emily before she was born. She said that as soon as she found out that we were expecting a girl, she knew she wanted to give that outfit to me for Kaylee to wear. Thank you, Tristen, for entrusting me with such a special and important gift. That outfit has been hanging on the side of Kaylee’s crib as a reminder that life is a precious gift.
In the past couple of weeks I have been reminded very poignantly that God is faithful…that we will never fully understand the innumerable ways that God wants to bring beauty from the ashes in our lives…that He wants to continue to use Zachary’s short life to accomplish great things. I feel so blessed.