Monday, March 28, 2011

I've been thinking a lot lately about the way that God pursues us with such a relentless love. I'm amazed that God would care so much about us that He would draw us to Himself. I am the recipient of such incredible mercy.

One of the stories that has given me a fresh perspective lately is the story of King David and a disabled man named Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel 9.

At the time, David is grieving the loss of his best friend, Jonathan, one day, when he is prompted by the Lord to seek out any of Jonathan’s living relatives with the intent to bless them.

David asks one of his servants and learns that, yes, Jonathan has one relative who is still living. It's one of Jonathan's sons, and his name is Mephibosheth.

Mephibosheth was crippled after being dropped as a young child. His name means “despised one” or "shame." And, after the death of his father, Jonathan, Mephibosheth is living in a place called Lo Debar. Lo Debar was the most disgusting of slums. The name “Lo Debar” literally means “no pasture.” It was a filthy, barren, and impoverished.

When I was in Haiti last year, I remember driving several times past an area called Cite Soleil, meaning "city of the sun." Sounds kind of was anything but. This city is built on top of the dump...literally tons of garbage piled up with shacks built on top. The poorest of the poor live there. There is no running water, no sewer system, crime is rampant, and the people who live there can't even afford the most basic necessities of life. It is Haiti's most notorious slum.

This is what I picture when I think about Lo Debar.

And here, in Lo Debar, with the rejected of society, Mephibosheth resides – with nothing to his name, no family, unable to even care for himself.

David sends for Mephibosheth and when this crippled man stands before the king, he says, “What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?”

David goes on to tell Mephibosheth that he will be given all the land that belonged to Saul’s family. Not only that, but David gives him workers to farm the land.

And then David tells Mephibosheth that he will have a place at the kings table to feast every day for the rest of his life, just like a son of the king.

From Lo Debar to the king’s palace.

How much greater is the mercy we have received from the Father! From our Lo Debar – utter need and depravity, spiritual blindness and eternity separated from God - to living in freedom and feasting at the table of the King.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I haven't sat down to write in quite some time, so I should probably take advantage of a quiet moment and catch up a bit. This will probably be random...

Life is....good. I'm learning everyday, but sometimes I feel like I'm doing so many things and none of them to the best of my ability. I'm a wife, a mommy, a homemaker, and I work two part-time jobs. Most of those labels are not optional. Mouths must be fed, laundry must be done, and at this time in our lives, I need to bring in some income. I just don't want to miss out on the incredible blessings of each day with Shaun and Kaylee. This weekend our pastor was teaching on what it means to be a godly woman, and one of the things he said is, "Your home needs to be your headquarters." That's what I want more than anything, so I'm just learning to re-focus and structure my life in a way that that is true. And, more than anything, I want what God wants for my life. I tacked up a piece of paper in my office at church yesterday that says, "Live Faithfully, Live Intentionally, Live Missionally, Live Expectantly." That is my heart's desire as I walk in faith and follow the Lord's leading.

Last week I went to SPU where I did my nursing education to share with the OB class our story of losing Zachary at the invitation of one of my former professors. Everything in me wanted to just seemed a little bit to difficult to relive that pain, and I hate...and I mean hate...talking in front of groups. But, God reminded me very clearly that it's really HIS story to tell, and that He can share it in whatever way He wants to. My job is to steward our testimony well and make the most of every opportunity to proclaim His faithfulness. And, it went so well. I really feel like the Lord directed my thoughts. I actually had an awesome sense of peace knowing that all I had to do was say yes, and God took it from there.

What else has gone on in the past several weeks...

Well, over a month ago now we had the privilege of dedicating Kaylee with our church family. What a day! While I grieved that her big brother was not on the stage with us, it was really such a special opportunity to commit ourselves as parents to raise her to know and love Jesus.

And, just in the past couple of weeks Kaylee has discovered her feet (and has quite the affection for them), laughed for the first time, rolled over, copied us making kissy faces at her, reached out to grab toys, and more. At times I just wish I could push the pause button...I can't even believe that four months have gone by. I just want to soak in every day with my sweet family.

Friday, March 11, 2011

I'm sitting on the couch in our living room right now. I just folded a mountain of laundry. Kaylee's sleeping peacefully in her crib with her hands above her head. The dishwasher just finished its last cycle. Dinner's almost ready.

And I am overwhelmed with the goodness that God has poured out in my the point of tears.

Psalm 30:5b - "...weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."

Sometimes I simply can't believe that this is the sound that fills our home: