Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Thank you for all of your kind words and prayers today.

It's been a pretty normal day, really. I worked at the hospital this morning and had meetings at church in the afternoon.

It was a beautiful day today, so when I got home the three of us headed over to the cemetery. Just as we were turning in, I caught a whiff of Kaylee. Oh, mercy. It was an impressive blowout to say the least. We laid her down on the changing mat in the grass at the cemetery and then I discovered that I only had 3 wipes and no change of clothes for her in the diaper bag...oops. It was pretty funny. :-)

To be honest, today hurts just as much as any other day. There have been waves of sadness over the past week. Last night I laid Kaylee in her crib to go to sleep, and as I bent down to kiss her, I was suddenly flooded with heartache over all of the kisses I have missed giving Zachary. It just leaves me with a deep longing for heaven...to be together...to be home.

Happy 2nd birthday, baby boy! We love you and miss you SO, SO much.


  1. Bless you and your sweet little family! Thinking of you guys and praying for you often.

  2. I was reading Babytalk and I saw you in the "mom's who rock" and I wanted to tell you that I think you really are an amazing mom how you help support other people through your own loss and you definitely fit the status. Just wanted to let you know :)

  3. Courtney,

    A co-worker of mine told me about an article she read in BabyTalk magazine about you. She lent me the magazine and after reading your story I immediately looked up your blog.

    I delivered my stillborn daughter, Elyssa, on January 31, 2011. I was 28 weeks along when we found out she was no longer with us. Elyssa is my first pregnancy and child.

    I just want to say thank you for sharing your thoughts with the world through your blog. I just started mine last week in the hopes that it will help me with my healing. (elyssakalani.blogspot.com)

    Take care and I look forward to reading your blog.

    Shaina Hollins

  4. Came across your blog from Kelli's blog as I am following her journey with Ruby. I haven't read your blog yet, just the experience you had with losing your son, Zachary. 20 years ago, I lost my first baby, a little girl, we named Taylor in exactly the same way you lost Zachary. I was 38 weeks and stopped feeling movement. They found no heartbeat, induced me, and I delivered an 8lb baby girl, perfect in every way, but stillborn. They found a true knot in the umbilical cord which must have tightened and cut off nutrients to her. I now have 3 teenage boys, but still miss my baby girl terribly. Would be glad to talk anytime. My healing only came with talking with those who understood.