Like I've mentioned before, I expected God to do some awesome work in my life while I was in Haiti, but what surprised me was the healing that took place in my heart.
When we first got to Haiti, the kids were so excited to see us. They would literally jump on me, hug me around the neck, crawl into my lap the moment I sat down or slip their little hands into mine. The first day we were in Dessalines, I hung back. It's been so hard for me to be around children, especially babies and toddlers, since Zachary died. During that first 24 hours in Haiti, I had to constantly come before God in prayer and ask Him...beg Him...to open my heart and release me to love the children around me. It was grueling at times, but over the course of the week, He did. By Friday, I had no hesitation in scooping a child up in my arms and kissing them. As a matter of fact, I'm missing those kiddos terribly right now.
This probably doesn't seem significant to some, but it was tangible evidence to me that God is healing my heart. At a stage when it seems that everyone is pregnant and having healthy babies around us, it's easy for me to shut down. And not that it's all that much easier to handle, but it was good to know that it's possible for my heart to risk loving a child again.
Anyways, I just wanted to put that in writing so I remember it later.