Wednesday, March 17, 2010

10 Months

Today is the 17th. It's now been 10 months since Zachary was born...since I held my baby boy for the first and last time.

It's hard to reconcile the fact that we have now been without Zachary longer than the amount of time that he was here with us.

I miss my boy. There's a hole in my heart that doesn't go away...will never go away... as long as I walk this earth. It's so daunting at times.

And, yet, here I am. Without my son, but still going. Still waking up each morning with purpose. I feel more awake than I have in a long time, actually. Yes, there is a huge void in my life, but it is not all-consuming. I still have the capacity to love and to be loved. Praise God for His grace.


  1. 10 months. It doesn't seem that long ago and at the same time it seems far away. Praying for continued peace for you and Shaun. You have walked through fire, like gold being refined, the Lord is doing a great work in you and Shaun, for his name.

  2. I feel like he has your eyes and the De Yager cheeks. I love you, Dear Zachary!