Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Thank you for all of your kind words and prayers today.

It's been a pretty normal day, really. I worked at the hospital this morning and had meetings at church in the afternoon.

It was a beautiful day today, so when I got home the three of us headed over to the cemetery. Just as we were turning in, I caught a whiff of Kaylee. Oh, mercy. It was an impressive blowout to say the least. We laid her down on the changing mat in the grass at the cemetery and then I discovered that I only had 3 wipes and no change of clothes for her in the diaper bag...oops. It was pretty funny. :-)


To be honest, today hurts just as much as any other day. There have been waves of sadness over the past week. Last night I laid Kaylee in her crib to go to sleep, and as I bent down to kiss her, I was suddenly flooded with heartache over all of the kisses I have missed giving Zachary. It just leaves me with a deep longing for heaven...to be together...to be home.


Happy 2nd birthday, baby boy! We love you and miss you SO, SO much.

5 comments:

  1. Bless you and your sweet little family! Thinking of you guys and praying for you often.

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  2. I was reading Babytalk and I saw you in the "mom's who rock" and I wanted to tell you that I think you really are an amazing mom how you help support other people through your own loss and you definitely fit the status. Just wanted to let you know :)

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  3. Courtney,

    A co-worker of mine told me about an article she read in BabyTalk magazine about you. She lent me the magazine and after reading your story I immediately looked up your blog.

    I delivered my stillborn daughter, Elyssa, on January 31, 2011. I was 28 weeks along when we found out she was no longer with us. Elyssa is my first pregnancy and child.

    I just want to say thank you for sharing your thoughts with the world through your blog. I just started mine last week in the hopes that it will help me with my healing. (elyssakalani.blogspot.com)

    Take care and I look forward to reading your blog.

    Sincerely,
    Shaina Hollins

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  4. Came across your blog from Kelli's blog as I am following her journey with Ruby. I haven't read your blog yet, just the experience you had with losing your son, Zachary. 20 years ago, I lost my first baby, a little girl, we named Taylor in exactly the same way you lost Zachary. I was 38 weeks and stopped feeling movement. They found no heartbeat, induced me, and I delivered an 8lb baby girl, perfect in every way, but stillborn. They found a true knot in the umbilical cord which must have tightened and cut off nutrients to her. I now have 3 teenage boys, but still miss my baby girl terribly. Would be glad to talk anytime. My healing only came with talking with those who understood.

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