We're going through the book of John right now in our sermon series at church. This past Sunday we looked at chapter five in which Jesus miraculously heals a man who has been paralyzed for 38 years. But before Jesus heals this man, He asks him this question: "Do you want to get well?"

If Jesus were to ask us any of us this question, it would sound rhetorical. But I think Jesus is looking for something more than the obvious.

He doesn't ask, "Do you want me to change your circumstances?" or "Do you want a quick fix?." He asks the invalid if he wants to get well because Jesus wants to change this man from the inside out. He wants to heal more than his physical suffering. He wants to make him whole - emotionally, spiritually and physically.

I felt the gentle Spirit of God asking the same question of me as I sat in church next to Shaun.

"Do you want a quick solution, or do you want Me to change you where you are right now?"

Secretly, I wish God would just speed this whole process of pregnancy up. I've started to be very purposeful about controlling my anxiety and intentionally bonding with this child, but really I just want to arrive home from the hospital with my baby. I just want to close my eyes and have this agonizing wait be over. And I'm so concerned about tomorrow that I often miss the blessing of carrying this sweet gift today. I'm missing what God has for me right now.

"Do you want to get well?"

Do I truly want God to use every blessing, every heartache, every twist and turn along the way to change me...heal me...make me whole?