- Pulling out old maternity clothes that I wore when I was pregnant with Zachary.
- Anxiously waiting to feel this baby move, but dreading it all the same because I know it will preoccupy my thoughts for the next 20+ weeks.
- Making plans to paint and re-decorate a nursery that was never used and deciding which of Zachary's things to put away.
A few moments that have brought incredible joy to my heart:
- Taking a 4 mile walk with Shaun last night just so I could get gyoza, dark chocolate and a movie to watch together.
- Time with good friends who ask how I'm doing and really want to know.
- Sweet time with my family over the past couple of weeks.
I find that, as I'm forced to go one layer deeper to grieve, God does more healing work in my heart. It's difficult to live in this place between loss and new life, but I'm thankful. My instinct is to rush through this time, but I'm learning so much as I discover all over again how to trust the Lord. Yes, there are moments of sorrow, but I know that God is making me whole and stretching my faith.