- Pulling out old maternity clothes that I wore when I was pregnant with Zachary.
- Anxiously waiting to feel this baby move, but dreading it all the same because I know it will preoccupy my thoughts for the next 20+ weeks.
- Making plans to paint and re-decorate a nursery that was never used and deciding which of Zachary's things to put away.
A few moments that have brought incredible joy to my heart:
- Taking a 4 mile walk with Shaun last night just so I could get gyoza, dark chocolate and a movie to watch together.
- Time with good friends who ask how I'm doing and really want to know.
- Sweet time with my family over the past couple of weeks.
I find that, as I'm forced to go one layer deeper to grieve, God does more healing work in my heart. It's difficult to live in this place between loss and new life, but I'm thankful. My instinct is to rush through this time, but I'm learning so much as I discover all over again how to trust the Lord. Yes, there are moments of sorrow, but I know that God is making me whole and stretching my faith.
We do not know each other but know I have been praying for you...this is something I wrote when I was pregnant with our son after losing our first baby when I was 17 weeks pregnant. God is good and He will see you through!
ReplyDeleteJoy and sorrow intertwine,
One was lost the other mine.
How to grieve I do not know,
I want my joy for new life to show.
I will cling to my King in times like these,
I will cling to my King fall on my knees.
With happiness and cheer all around,
Deep inside I still feel a frown.
When moving on is hard to do,
Joy in Christ will see me through.
I will cling to my King in times like these,
I will cling to my King fall on my knees.
Life is hard God does not lie,
He will be there when I cry.
When fear and worry take its grip,
It's hard to stand firm and not to slip.
I will cling to my King in times like these,
I will cling to my King fall on my knees.
On the cross my Savior died,
I will be His heavenly bride.
He bought my life with His blood,
Cleansed me with His refreshing flood.
I will cling to my King for He will not fail,
He will be the wind in my sail.