I am 15 weeks pregnant. I have hesitated to tell friends and family, and I hesitate to write that even now. To be congratulated feels really strange...I think I'm still very much in denial. Don't get me wrong...I'm so, so thankful. This is something we have prayed for and waited on the Lord for for what seemed like a long time. But, pregnancy is also a huge risk to me now, and to be excited means that I am hopeful, and to be hopeful means that I could end up devastated again.
So, I'm working through how to ask God for a healthy pregnancy and a screaming baby in a few months, but with the knowledge that God's plans are not my own and that, no matter what tomorrow holds, He will walk with us. There are moments that I am overcome with fear and guilt, but for the most part, I have a genuine peace.
Thank you for praying with us in the days and weeks ahead.